I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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