dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
