You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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