Hey man sorry I got all grabby
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
