this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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