what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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