I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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