ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
