i don't like sucking hair
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
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Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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