Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
