Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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