hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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