is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
