you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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