Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
