I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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