Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
