you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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