these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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