Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
