I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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