He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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