You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I cannot find my penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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