We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize