So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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