i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
