That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
