Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize