I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
