My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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