let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
