I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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