we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
