Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
no, he came in my armpit
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
