yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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