I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Someone shit on the floor
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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