Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
