She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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