hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
