there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
