NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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