Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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