just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
