I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Mom said you looked used
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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