suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
A+ Viking dick
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
