Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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