so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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