k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
