wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
