So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
