At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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