her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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