I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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