I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
