oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
