just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize