After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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