put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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